Learning to Talk

Drew:
We’ve got a talkative little house right now and we’re having so much fun with it!  Drew has learned how to say “mama”, “dada”, “hi”.  He’s working on his wave (currently has 3 versions). 

Drew likes to Wave

Connor:
Connor is teaching Drew so many things and also chattering up a storm, which is so unbelievably welcomed!  By now you have probably noticed a lack of “funny things said” within all of my posts.  More on that below…. Here’s a few funny things he did instead.

• I asked him a couple weeks ago if he wanted a blueberry or plain waffle.  He immediately threw his hands in the air by his side (think wings)  -- he wanted a plane waffle.
• He loves to help his brother but sometimes also shows his brotherly love in ways such as sitting on him, pushing him, etc.  One day I was giving him a warning and asked him, "Do you want a time out?"  He replied yes and sent himself to the Time Out location!
• When we go out to my parents house, he knows just where the old toy dump truck and pick-up truck are located in my parents garage (thanks Uncle Brian for having Mom & Dad keep those).  He will go right in, help himself and start working on the "roads" around my parents back yard.
• The other day I was baking an angel food cake and Connor normally loves to help.  I was beating the egg whites and they were flying everywhere so I had an apron on.  Connor got down from his chair and disappeared so I figured he must be over this baking adventure.  He came back a minute later with his apron that he had dug up in his kitchen and pointed that we matched -- made me smile!

Over the past year, we’ve heard plenty of things said in an effort to make us feel better -- “he’s a boy so talking later is normal”.  “Einstein didn’t talk until he was 4”.  “Don’t worry, one day it will just start to pour out if you just be patient.”  However, what we kept hearing was contrary to what my gut kept telling me…. that Connor is a very bright, happy, loving and thoughtful kid and that I needed to do SOMETHING to help him before he got too frustrated.  Connor is able to understand just about anything we tell him, can say the full alphabet and even what sounds half of the letters make, pick out the right color when asked and many many other things!  We knew he was comprehending what we were saying but that there was a big gap between his comprehensive level of speech and his “descriptive or expressive” speech.   As a parent, all you want is for your kid to be in the “range of normal” and not to have too many struggles in life. 
Well – in April we finally started to get some answers so that we can start moving forward.     The specialist we saw confirmed what we thought in that  Connor’s comprehension was between a 3-4 year old (when he was 2 1/2).  She also confirmed what we had begun to suspect in doing research, which is that Connor has childhood apraxia or dyspraxia.  To condense the long medical diagnosis, “apraxia basically is a neurological impairment that involves the planning, executing and sequencing of motor movements.  Verbal apraxia is a term borrowed from adult victims of accidents that have robbed them of some speech ability; when children are verbally apraxic, it is a neurological problem that affects the rapid sequence of muscle movements needed to make the sounds of speech.  Apraxia is a neurological disorder that doesn't go away; but early intervention and intensive speech can help the child to function, eventually on a level with his peers.” – www.apraxia-kids.org if you want more info. 
So that’s the downside – Connor will have to have intensive speech therapy for an unknown number of years (with the best scenario being that by kindergarten, he will be on equal ground with the other kids and their level of speech).  He is just going to have to work a lot harder at learning how to talk than most other kids…. but I know he’s up for the challenge. 
This process has taught us about ourselves as well.  I can’t lie – in the beginning we were so utterly confused.  I didn’t know what caused it and didn’t know how to help him and were working with a speech therapist that had no idea of the right approach (actually didn’t even diagnose the problem).  It felt like we were getting nowhere.  We went through denial saying that he would just be a late talker.  Mostly I was just scared!  Scared that we wouldn’t know what to do and scared that we may not be able to help him.  In the end, we are just DETERMINED that we’re going to do everything in our power to help him.  We found a GREAT Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) who specializes in treating apraxia and now make the weekly drive to Bozeman (180 miles roundtrip) to visit Betsy the speech therapist and Stella the sleepy bulldog that is her trusty sidekick.   
I guess that’s part of the upside.  The rest of the upside is that I’m incredibly THANKFUL for the beautiful, healthy, creative little boy we have.  I pray a little each trip for the parents that are spending those same hours next to a hospital bed with their child or grieving the loss of a child….  
I love him to pieces and this strong-willed, typical first child is going to rise above this. In the few months that we’ve been seeing the SLP, we have seen him make huge strides! Connor has learned to speak with sign language, with his hands (like an Italian ), with his whole body and has been very creative in his ways to tell us things.  In the last two weeks, we have seen AMAZING progress in his actual vocabulary and his willingness to TRY a new word.  He is so willing to give any sound a try and really wants to try to make new words. Best of all, I think we’ve caught it early enough that the likelihood is that it won’t even be noticeable by the time he hits kindergarten. Betsy is instilling so much confidence in him and he glows when he learns a new word.   As a parent, I want him to know that he can do anything he sets his mind to do!  I already see him starting out on a great path of confidence and determination and I pray that he never loses that or feels that his voice is not worth being heard.
Until next time – we’re going to keep learning to talk!